Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his pussy

Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld loves his cat. A lot. Choupette is a white Siamese who has 27,000 Twitter followers. It was reported last year that the number-one pussy in Karl’s life also has three maids who keep a daily diary of the cat’s life (filling 600 pages in nine months), and flies in style by private jet.

When Fashion Week: Backstage Pass asked Karl if his cat really has its own entourage, he answered, “Yes. Why not?”

Carbon footprint? Please. Choupette is far too precious to fly commercial! She’s so precious that Karl would even marry her if he could. “There is no marriage, yet, for human beings and animals . . . I never thought that I would fall in love like this with a cat,” the fashion mogul said.

Choupette isn’t the only one getting pampered — it’s been claimed that Karl employes a “soda serf” whose job it is to follow him around parties with a Pepsi Max on a silver tray . . .

Blasphemy! Everyone knows Karl only drinks Diet Coke:

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