Age of Aqueerius

Your biweekly/Sound of Music-themed horoscopes from the mystical mind of Ryan Kerr


This warm weather makes me want to twirl my flouncy skirt on the mountain tops with Julie Andrews by my side . . .

Virgo

Perhaps you had a wicked childhood. Perhaps you had a miserable youth. But somewhere in that wicked, miserable path, you must have done something good.

Libra

You must stop these doubts, all these worries! If you don’t, I just know you’ll turn mad! You must dream of the things you’ve been seeking . . . you are seeking the courage you lack.

Scorpio

You wait, little girl, on an empty stage, for fate to turn on the light. Your life, little girl, is an empty page, that men will want to write on. (TO WRITE ON!)

Sagittarius

What will this day be like? you wonder. What will your future be? you wonder. It could be so exciting, to be out in the world to be free. Your heart should be wildly rejoicing. Oh, what’s the matter with you?

Capricorn

Try laughing like a brook when it trips and falls over stones on its way. And if you do, your heart will be blessed with the sound of music, and you’ll sing once more.

Aquarius

Despite what everyone is saying about you, you’re an asset to my Abbey.

Pisces

When you know the notes to sing, you can sing most anything!

Aries

Climb every mountain, ford every stream. Follow every rainbow, ’til you find your dream. A dream that will need all the love you can give — every day of your life — for as long as you live!

Taurus

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when you’re feeling sad, you simply remember your favourite things, and then you don’t feel so bad!

Gemini

Starting at the very beginning is a very good place to start!

Cancer

Soon your duet will become a trio: lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo!

Leo

Face your mistakes without defiance! Show them you’re worthy, and while you show them, you’ll show you, too!

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